I grew up poor in a small rural town and dropped out of school young (the abusive step-father with the shotgun was a motivator). I moved to Melbourne at 17 and had a series of adventures. I made a living as a drummer for two years, lived in an Italian monastery for a year, and later while working in a factory I completed VCE. I then entered The University of Melbourne where I studied philosophy, and by my late 20s I was teaching it there.
Philosophy is one of my great passions. I want to live with strength, decency, and meaning, knowing what it is to be a human being and a man, and making life work well. Philosophy is an ancient Greek work meaning "love of wisdom," so it's about cultivating the understanding to do that. But I'm a practical man and was never satisfied with academic work. I wanted to apply my knowledge, and combine it with science (especially psychology), and arts likes counselling and coaching. And so I studied counselling, lept into that career, and eventually became fully qualified to masters level. I have since worked with organisations doing men's relationship/divorce counselling (helping them rebuild), suicide crisis counselling (talking guys back from bridges), and veteran's and defense force (ADF) crisis counselling. These days I run a private practice.
The psych industry takes a feminine approach to men, telling us we just need get in touch with our feelings and express them and everything will come right. Behind doors I've heard female psychologists mock men in general as "idiots," I've head social worker CEOs dismiss abuse toward men, and recently the American Psychological Association released a statement that "traditional masculinity" is toxic and should be treated. This is all bullshit. Men have their own distinctive way of being which is different, which evolved out of the harsh demands of 200,000 years of human evolution, and which is good. To do well in your life you need to do more than get in touch with your feelings. As men we face our challenges through finding our strength, our competence, our clarity, our purpose, and by action - creating forward momentum. As a counsellor from a working-class, rural background my masculinity shapes how I think and how I work with others. I aim at truth. I know how to respect myself. And I do what works.
I combine training and knowledge, with practical real-world experience. As a young man I was nice, agreeable, empathic...but despite my outward achievements I lacked real agency. I felt depressed and anxious much of the time. I also became over-weight, and felt trapped and was bullied at work. I had to recreate myself on a range of fronts. Through trial and error, through constant learning and action, I honed myself into a man who is strong, happy, and very successful in life and with women. Below are two photos of me six months apart, during one phase of transformation in my early 30s.
Philosophy is one of my great passions. I want to live with strength, decency, and meaning, knowing what it is to be a human being and a man, and making life work well. Philosophy is an ancient Greek work meaning "love of wisdom," so it's about cultivating the understanding to do that. But I'm a practical man and was never satisfied with academic work. I wanted to apply my knowledge, and combine it with science (especially psychology), and arts likes counselling and coaching. And so I studied counselling, lept into that career, and eventually became fully qualified to masters level. I have since worked with organisations doing men's relationship/divorce counselling (helping them rebuild), suicide crisis counselling (talking guys back from bridges), and veteran's and defense force (ADF) crisis counselling. These days I run a private practice.
The psych industry takes a feminine approach to men, telling us we just need get in touch with our feelings and express them and everything will come right. Behind doors I've heard female psychologists mock men in general as "idiots," I've head social worker CEOs dismiss abuse toward men, and recently the American Psychological Association released a statement that "traditional masculinity" is toxic and should be treated. This is all bullshit. Men have their own distinctive way of being which is different, which evolved out of the harsh demands of 200,000 years of human evolution, and which is good. To do well in your life you need to do more than get in touch with your feelings. As men we face our challenges through finding our strength, our competence, our clarity, our purpose, and by action - creating forward momentum. As a counsellor from a working-class, rural background my masculinity shapes how I think and how I work with others. I aim at truth. I know how to respect myself. And I do what works.
I combine training and knowledge, with practical real-world experience. As a young man I was nice, agreeable, empathic...but despite my outward achievements I lacked real agency. I felt depressed and anxious much of the time. I also became over-weight, and felt trapped and was bullied at work. I had to recreate myself on a range of fronts. Through trial and error, through constant learning and action, I honed myself into a man who is strong, happy, and very successful in life and with women. Below are two photos of me six months apart, during one phase of transformation in my early 30s.
The personal work never stops. When I look at the second photo, I still see a guy who was very intelligent and nice, but far too soft. The bigger transformations have been inward. I dug down and built emotional strength, courage, greater mastery over my life, and sense of who I am and where I'm going. I'm speaking from experience when I say that deep transformation is realistic. I don't get depressed anymore. Or scared. I get hit on by attractive women. I run a successful business doing what I love. With the right approach and effort anybody can turn their life around. I'm still on this road, as I will be for the rest of my life - when you do it right it's a joyful way of living, constantly becoming more.
I now counsel, coach, and mentor other men to do the same.
I recently left Melbourne and bought my dream home by a forest in central Victoria. I work from there via Skype, but I also see clients face-to-face, two days a week in Carlton, Melbourne.
– Matthew Bishop (MAppSocSci(Couns); BA (Hon); Dip. Prof. Couns.).
I now counsel, coach, and mentor other men to do the same.
I recently left Melbourne and bought my dream home by a forest in central Victoria. I work from there via Skype, but I also see clients face-to-face, two days a week in Carlton, Melbourne.
– Matthew Bishop (MAppSocSci(Couns); BA (Hon); Dip. Prof. Couns.).
