Divorce or separation can be a hard time, full of emotional pain or turmoil, and practical stress. Some guys feel that life will be shit from now on, that they are failures, that they will be lonely, that they will suck at dating, or if they marry again that it will be with the wrong person. And so on and et cetera.
Of course it can be a great time too. Once the smoke has settled, some men experience this as the best of their life. They get to build something new, making choices about who they want to be, where they want to be, and who they want to be with. You discover new freedoms and experiences, dust off old aspects of yourself (which you didn't realise you'd missed), and sometimes create something better out of your life.
Well, that's the ideal path. But it can become like a new year's resolution: full of good intentions, vague plans, and no follow-through. Instead of that wonderful new life you envisaged, you slowly fall back into your crappy old patterns.
I work with men like a springboard in their life. I support you through the emotional challenges and suffering you face, but guide you to make fantastic use of this time. We'll assess what you really want in life, I'll ask why you don't take that option, when here it is on the table?!, and then we'll get to work as you take leaps and become a new man. The man you always wanted to be.
Don't waste this time. Use its intense energy to become that man you long to be, creating that life you really want. See here for packages and give me a call to discuss what work we might do together.
The Stoic philosophers of ancient Greece and Rome lived in a harsh world. There's no denying that. Among its two best proponents, one was an emperor of Rome during its downfall, fighting barbarians on the borders, and betrayal in his personal life. The other was a slave and cripple. Stoicism has been continuously popular for 2,500 years for good reason: it makes people stronger, more good, more wise, more noble, and more calm, in good times and bad. It's especially suited to a masculine temperament. Therefore I recommend it to you. I've been reading Stoicism my whole adult life, including at the time that something terrible happened. Today I get personal. This is the story of how the slave, cripple, and stoic philosopher Epictetus helped me get through one of the hardest times in my life. I share this because my clients, like most people, go through very hard times too. We're all in this together. And there's a lot of wisdom out there, much of it ancient, that helps.
What if psychology stopped focusing on what goes wrong in life, and researched what goes right? What if it put happiness, flourishing, resilience, and character to the test of science? And what if the outcomes were applied through counselling and coaching? Well in the late 1990s some leading psychologists asked such questions, and positive psychology was born.