I provide both short-term counselling and longer-term therapy for personal growth. This page is about my approach to longer-term therapy, though of course it reflects the background to all my work.
Whether for three months or a year, to spend a period of time, weekly, in deeper therapy, is one of the most life-changing things you can do.
The core therapeutic approaches that I draw on include psychodynamic therapy, Existential Therapy, and various cognitive-behavioural therapies. I will talk about each below. Let's start with psychodynamic therapy.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy
Why can't I find a good relationship? Why is work always so hard? Why do I behave that way around my children? Why can't I feel good about myself? Why am I always stressed / anxious / sad / angry / overwhelmed / dissatisfied / bored / etc.? For most of us, questions like these are common, painful, and on repeat. Longer-term therapy offers you the chance to see what is really going on and to change it.
We are blind to much about ourselves. Much of our emotional life is actually out of our awareness. Think for example of an angry person who insists they are not angry. Or of coming to see that you have been feeling a certain way without realising it. We are unaware or unconscious of much about ourselves, which means that we are blindly driven in many ways. Furthermore, we instinctively deal with these emotions unconsciously through "defense mechanisms," coping with things through behaviours such as being overly detached, or overly helpful, or coping through emotions such as being sad as a way of smothering anger, or angry as a way of not drowning in a sadness. This mostly happens instinctively, thoughtlessly, unconsciously. And so we become tangled and trapped, with negative consequences for our lives.
To imagine a couple of examples, take a woman who, because of her mother's depression when she was a young child, has come to see herself as bad. But she doesn't realise this, it's all pushed out of awareness. In adulthood she lets people use her, and then feels hurt and resentful, imagining that the problem simply lies with others. She does not realise that she is instrumental in causing this recurrent pattern in her life, that her unconscious lack of self-esteem and desire to punish herself lead her to put herself into these situations. Again, imagine a man who wants a long-term relationship, but because of some emotional wound in his childhood he has come to feel that he will ultimately be rejected, and that being rejected will be utterly catastrophic. So he sabotages his relationships before they get too serious. Later on, when he reflects on his behaviour, he cannot understand why he behaves like that.
These people are trapped in emotions and defenses that they cannot properly see or understand. I help them to see these things. I then help them to deal with their deep, old emotions - processing the anger, grieving and accepting losses, facing fears - so they become more free, so they can move forward and make life different. And I help them make decisions about what they want next, and I help them to create those changes.
Psychodynamic therapy helps you to see your unconscious patterns of emotions and defense, in ways that enable you to become more free and able to change.
Existential Therapy
Existential Therapy is a philosophical approach to counselling and psychotherapy. Before becoming a counsellor I taught philosophy at The University of Melbourne and elsewhere, and Existential Therapy became my first and foundational way of working. Existential Therapy is about becoming more wise and courageous about life.
Many of our problems are the result of avoiding life in some way. For example, the reason so many people experience anxiety is because life is dangerous. Much that we care about is at stake, whether it be our lives, our wellbeing, those we care about, or the things that give meaning to life. Existential Therapy helps you to face life more fully, with greater wisdom and courage, in order to live it more richly and fully. Furthermore, the reason so many people experience some level of depression, is because life can feel pointless. We can lose the things which give meaning to life, and suffer a level of despair. As a philosophical kind of therapy, Existential Therapy helps you look deeply at the sources of meaning and value in life, so you can bring more of that into your own life.
While psychodynamic therapy is about the psychological dimensions of life - emotional and defensive patterns - Existential Therapy is about cultivating greater wisdom, meaning, courage, direction, purpose. I find that the combination creates a kind of holistic balance, helping you to create change at both the unconscious and conscious levels of your life: you start to feel and act differently, and you start to think about life differently.
Other approaches that I draw on
There are other therapies I draw on. These include various forms of cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT is a research-based set of insights and practices into how the mind gets caught in negative loops of thinking and feeling. It is essentially a set of practices, a way of relating to your thoughts and feelings, that makes you much more free of them. Once you get the hang of it, ACT is an incredibly simple and powerful way of becoming more free from negativity and more able to focus your mind on what actually matters to you.
I also draw very much on a field of research known as Positive Psychology. Positive Psychology began twenty-five years ago when the then head of the American Psychological Association, Martin Seligman, challenged researchers: We have spent a decade studying what goes wrong in life and how to heal it; it is time also to study what goes right, and how to create more of it. This is about helping people get not only from bad to okay, but also from okay to good. Having read a lot of both ancient philosophy and modern Positive Psychology, I see the latter as a kind of scientific way of answering those same age-old questions: how do I find happiness, how do I create a good life for myself?
Personal growth?
I write at length here about the difference between myself as a personal growth professional, versus clinical mental health professionals. Many of my clients are what is sometimes referred to as "the worried well", i.e. people who have no significant mental illness, and who nonetheless are challenged by life. Because, life is challenging. Many of my clients have taken these struggles to clinical professionals such as psychologists, and found that their struggles were dismissed because they are too well. Or that such professionals, who are trained to treat disorders, are not so skilled at working with broader life issues. Furthermore, the whole medical paradigm that such professionals work in is increasingly superficial: how quickly can we get you to function, ideally to find your place in the cogs of society again, or at least be less of a drain on the system. I work hard to define personal growth counselling and psychotherapy as a distinct field for two reasons: first, I cannot diagnose and treat disorders , that is not my training, and secondly and more importantly, what the rest of life? What about creating an emotional life that is better? Not because you are disordered, but because you want to suffer less, to be more happy, and to have a more meaningful and rich experience of life? What about crafting a direction in life that is more purposeful for you, because purpose and meaning and value matters? What about the art of living? We need professionals like myself who can use their therapeutic skills to help the broader population with those challenges. Personal growth therapy is about living your best life. It is about enjoying this brief life you have. It is about crafting something that you will be happy to look back on. It is about the capacity for love and meaning and happiness.
Whether for three months or a year, to spend a period of time, weekly, in deeper therapy, is one of the most life-changing things you can do.
The core therapeutic approaches that I draw on include psychodynamic therapy, Existential Therapy, and various cognitive-behavioural therapies. I will talk about each below. Let's start with psychodynamic therapy.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy
Why can't I find a good relationship? Why is work always so hard? Why do I behave that way around my children? Why can't I feel good about myself? Why am I always stressed / anxious / sad / angry / overwhelmed / dissatisfied / bored / etc.? For most of us, questions like these are common, painful, and on repeat. Longer-term therapy offers you the chance to see what is really going on and to change it.
We are blind to much about ourselves. Much of our emotional life is actually out of our awareness. Think for example of an angry person who insists they are not angry. Or of coming to see that you have been feeling a certain way without realising it. We are unaware or unconscious of much about ourselves, which means that we are blindly driven in many ways. Furthermore, we instinctively deal with these emotions unconsciously through "defense mechanisms," coping with things through behaviours such as being overly detached, or overly helpful, or coping through emotions such as being sad as a way of smothering anger, or angry as a way of not drowning in a sadness. This mostly happens instinctively, thoughtlessly, unconsciously. And so we become tangled and trapped, with negative consequences for our lives.
To imagine a couple of examples, take a woman who, because of her mother's depression when she was a young child, has come to see herself as bad. But she doesn't realise this, it's all pushed out of awareness. In adulthood she lets people use her, and then feels hurt and resentful, imagining that the problem simply lies with others. She does not realise that she is instrumental in causing this recurrent pattern in her life, that her unconscious lack of self-esteem and desire to punish herself lead her to put herself into these situations. Again, imagine a man who wants a long-term relationship, but because of some emotional wound in his childhood he has come to feel that he will ultimately be rejected, and that being rejected will be utterly catastrophic. So he sabotages his relationships before they get too serious. Later on, when he reflects on his behaviour, he cannot understand why he behaves like that.
These people are trapped in emotions and defenses that they cannot properly see or understand. I help them to see these things. I then help them to deal with their deep, old emotions - processing the anger, grieving and accepting losses, facing fears - so they become more free, so they can move forward and make life different. And I help them make decisions about what they want next, and I help them to create those changes.
Psychodynamic therapy helps you to see your unconscious patterns of emotions and defense, in ways that enable you to become more free and able to change.
Existential Therapy
Existential Therapy is a philosophical approach to counselling and psychotherapy. Before becoming a counsellor I taught philosophy at The University of Melbourne and elsewhere, and Existential Therapy became my first and foundational way of working. Existential Therapy is about becoming more wise and courageous about life.
Many of our problems are the result of avoiding life in some way. For example, the reason so many people experience anxiety is because life is dangerous. Much that we care about is at stake, whether it be our lives, our wellbeing, those we care about, or the things that give meaning to life. Existential Therapy helps you to face life more fully, with greater wisdom and courage, in order to live it more richly and fully. Furthermore, the reason so many people experience some level of depression, is because life can feel pointless. We can lose the things which give meaning to life, and suffer a level of despair. As a philosophical kind of therapy, Existential Therapy helps you look deeply at the sources of meaning and value in life, so you can bring more of that into your own life.
While psychodynamic therapy is about the psychological dimensions of life - emotional and defensive patterns - Existential Therapy is about cultivating greater wisdom, meaning, courage, direction, purpose. I find that the combination creates a kind of holistic balance, helping you to create change at both the unconscious and conscious levels of your life: you start to feel and act differently, and you start to think about life differently.
Other approaches that I draw on
There are other therapies I draw on. These include various forms of cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), including Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT is a research-based set of insights and practices into how the mind gets caught in negative loops of thinking and feeling. It is essentially a set of practices, a way of relating to your thoughts and feelings, that makes you much more free of them. Once you get the hang of it, ACT is an incredibly simple and powerful way of becoming more free from negativity and more able to focus your mind on what actually matters to you.
I also draw very much on a field of research known as Positive Psychology. Positive Psychology began twenty-five years ago when the then head of the American Psychological Association, Martin Seligman, challenged researchers: We have spent a decade studying what goes wrong in life and how to heal it; it is time also to study what goes right, and how to create more of it. This is about helping people get not only from bad to okay, but also from okay to good. Having read a lot of both ancient philosophy and modern Positive Psychology, I see the latter as a kind of scientific way of answering those same age-old questions: how do I find happiness, how do I create a good life for myself?
Personal growth?
I write at length here about the difference between myself as a personal growth professional, versus clinical mental health professionals. Many of my clients are what is sometimes referred to as "the worried well", i.e. people who have no significant mental illness, and who nonetheless are challenged by life. Because, life is challenging. Many of my clients have taken these struggles to clinical professionals such as psychologists, and found that their struggles were dismissed because they are too well. Or that such professionals, who are trained to treat disorders, are not so skilled at working with broader life issues. Furthermore, the whole medical paradigm that such professionals work in is increasingly superficial: how quickly can we get you to function, ideally to find your place in the cogs of society again, or at least be less of a drain on the system. I work hard to define personal growth counselling and psychotherapy as a distinct field for two reasons: first, I cannot diagnose and treat disorders , that is not my training, and secondly and more importantly, what the rest of life? What about creating an emotional life that is better? Not because you are disordered, but because you want to suffer less, to be more happy, and to have a more meaningful and rich experience of life? What about crafting a direction in life that is more purposeful for you, because purpose and meaning and value matters? What about the art of living? We need professionals like myself who can use their therapeutic skills to help the broader population with those challenges. Personal growth therapy is about living your best life. It is about enjoying this brief life you have. It is about crafting something that you will be happy to look back on. It is about the capacity for love and meaning and happiness.
